Beyond the Challenge

Themes We’ll Cover

 

1. Grief and Acceptance

Grief is an inevitable part in our lives. Not just at the moment your child gets diagnosed, but at all sequential life phases. How can we ride the waves of grief with full acceptance and learn to live fully regardless of the sadness that raises its head now and then?

 

2. Surviving, Thriving or Living True?

The challenges our kids are faced with often bring out strong survival patterns in us. The life-threatening situations they get in, the incessant care that needs to be financed, the complexity of our family life that asks for management. We take it all on until we are exhausted. Then we might pendulum swing to the other side: to thriving by creating only fun events, outings and artificially re-installing the life we used to know. When we start to ask and contemplate what the challenges we are faced with are actually calling forth from us, we start living true. That can bring the harmony and fulfillment we are actually seeking.

 

3. Relaxation and Well-Being

After my son returned home after the meningitis, the stress levels were high in our family. A friend (also a doctor in alternative medicine) recommended I massage my son daily. I was amazed by the effect of it, not just for my child, but also for me. In those massage moments I stopped thinking, worrying, and was just fully present with my son. In short: if I relaxed, he relaxed. Our relaxation and sense of well-being have a strong impact on the stress levels of our children.

 

4. Where am I Coming From?

It’s a fact that our children need a lot of care, sometimes even day and night. And therapies are often essential too. But where are we coming from when we care for them? Do we secretly hope to fix them, find the magical healing method that would make them better, whatever that might mean? If we let go of these hidden desires and learn to connect with who they are and how they want to live and be, then the essential care and therapies can become a totally different ball game.

 

5. Partnership: Sharing is Caring

Maybe it is not surprising that divorce rates amongst parents with special needs children are higher than amongst parents with healthy children. Highly likely this is the case due to stress, less available time together, different coping mechanisms, and a limited social network. Yet parents that learn to team up, dare to share what’s on their hearts and minds, might actually bond on a deeper level. And that will also have a great impact on the quality of life of their children. Find ways and times to keep investing in each other — sharing is caring.

 

6. Who is on Your Team?

Find the doctors, therapists, caregivers, and teachers that resonate with your vision for your child. Don’t stick with the ones that don’t match what feels true to you and your family. You have a say in the matter. It took me a while to get this, but once I fully understood I was also the one creating the most fitting support team for our family, life started to get easier and more balanced.

 

7. Daring to Dream Big

Once you have found steady ground for yourself and your family, start tuning into the bigger vision that wants to unfold. May quality of life lead you forward. What are dreams that are still possible without you having to fall back into striving from a place of unworthiness, or even martyrdom? Listen to the whispers of your Higher Self — it gives you nudges all the time.

 

8. Let it Be

One of the biggest things our kids are teaching us is just to be. Nothing needs fixing, changing, or not changing. Learn to chill hard with whatever is. A young adult woman with special needs I worked with once shared that she loved going to the hospital. As a parent, I very much disliked it — to not say I hated it — when my son was hospitalized. Yet he often seemed perfectly fine with it. His calm acceptance taught me something profound: whatever unfolds is perfect — if we can truly let it be as it is.

 

9. Seeing the Perfection

One of the hardest moments in my life was also a deeply awakening one. My son was almost dying, and beyond the agony and fear I suddenly fell into a deep peace and knowing that all is well, always. My search for further awakening and enlightenment started there and then. I now know it’s only a choice away, and I am happy to guide you to see this ongoing perfection as well.

 

10. Integration

In this last class we will review what touched you most, helped you see what you’d like to see change or shift in yourself. What is your brightest take-away from this course and how can you implement that in your daily life? It could be one aspect or more. Know that honing in on just one specific topic for a period of time can really be beneficial on several or all of the covered themes. So one step up can have a big impact on multiple facets of your life.